A Very Personal Post

001BA Maternity
Well if the picture hasn’t already given it away…. We are pregnant! I’m 23 weeks along and have decided to keep things quiet for a few reasons. If I could have waited longer I probably would have, but it was a mixture of excitement (we are getting so close to the end) and I’m horrible with surprises, i mean seriously you should see me at Christmas and with Birthday presents! Not to mention I was paranoid every time someone commented on Facebook, I was waiting for them to accidentally spill the beans. And it’s been so hard so keep this secret. So why did I?

1.  I feel like the second something happens, and I have been known to do this too, everyone runs to Facebook. I knew that the people who were the closest in my life would know and that’s all I really cared about…people who would be there when “stuff” hit the fan (which it unfortunately did) and people who would keep the safety of this baby in their prayers.

2. I really enjoyed telling people in person. Loved watching their reactions and embracing when they found out. It’s that personal aspect you don’t really get anymore with Facebook. And I loved that! It made sharing the news more exciting.

3. I was scared. This pregnancy hasn’t been the easiest. To make a long story short (you should have seen the first draft of this post) we were told we could have trouble getting pregnant because I have PCOS and basically don’t ovulate. We were fortunate that it only took us a year with fertility medications to get pregnant since I have had friends and clients struggle with this for many years, but I know struggle is struggle no matter how long it lasts. For a year those medications made me so sick. Not to mention my body was detoxing from all the other medications I had been on for my migraines since I was 14. When we finally got pregnant, I was beyond sick. To the point where I lost 15 lbs and couldn’t get out of bed. That alone made it hard to get excited about anything.

At 8 weeks, we found out we were having twins. We heard two heart beats and saw two babies. As we began to mentally prepare for the implications of having and raising two babies at once, our emotions ran the gamut from petrified to overjoyed. We began to plan out our lives and envisioned the four of us doing everything together. At 12 weeks, we found out we lost one. We were devastated. Still incredibly sick, now I was even more scared. I was stuck somewhere between trying to mourn the baby we lost, but also being grateful for the little guy we still had.  With every alien feeling in my body I was worried something something else was going to go wrong. But now that we are further along, 23 weeks, that fear passes with each week. We are beyond grateful to have one healthy baby boy! I mean he’s got to be healthy if he’s making me sick all the time, right? #littlemrulloa

If you want to follow my personal journey feel free to check out my personal IG, Bethnanners.

Screen Shot 2015-03-09 at 8.56.19 AM

So when my girl friend, the talented Whitney Bower of Whitney Bower Imaging told me she was coming out for a visit and wanted to take my maternity photos, something I never thought I would do, I was apprehensive. I knew I would still be small. But once we started planning and it actually started thinking about it, I got excited. Between Whitney, my mom and a couple of other friends, I must have sent out a hundred texts of outfit choices. I knew I needed a dress that would show off my belly. I’m excited with the outcome. Check out the shots below! And big props to Christian for being an awesome sport and thanks Whit for documenting such a milestone in our lives!

002BA Maternity003BA Maternity004BA Maternity

Since it’s snowing and freezing in Arkansas, where Whit lives, she wanted to take some photos at the beach! 005BA Maternity006BA Maternity007BA MaternityBA Final--14009BA Maternity